mindful – Page 3 – make today happy

Day 26: Kindness bookmarks

Being kind by hiding a message inside library books:

Today’s happy is short and sweet and happy.

I wanted to leave messages inside a couple of library books I was returning for the next reader to find.

On the back of my Kindness Cards, I wrote: You are in incredible person. Have a lovely day.

I decided to write my blog address on the back too, just in case the finder is intrigued to visit. Wouldn’t that be the cherry on the cake.

But again, I let go of all attachment to the outcome. My intention is what counts: to make someone smile.

So with this in mind, my happy for today is being kind by hiding a message inside a library book.

Day 25: Sunrise splendour

Being mindful by watching the sun as it rises:

Today I woke up at 5am. Feeling tired but too wired to go back to sleep, I climbed out of bed to open the curtains.

And was treated to the most magnificent sunrise.

So this is what I woke up at ridiculous o’clock for, I mused.

I love a good sunrise, and a good sunset too. I can sit and stare at them all day long as each changing moment brings new beauty to admire.

Sadly, I haven’t seen either for a good while. In the midst of British summertime, with a very early sunrise and a very late sunset, I’m usually in bed for both.

And while I am absolutely delighted summer is here, I do miss seeing those awe-inspiring skies.

So this morning was a very special treat for me.

As I observed the wonder of this morning’s fiery sky, I felt reflective.

I thought about how uncertain life can sometimes be. But we can always be certain that the sun will rise and that the sun will set. Even if it is hiding away behind those infamous British grey clouds.

I was reminded of how today is a new day, as Buddhist teacher Jack Kornfield wrote:

“Each morning we are born again.
What we do today is what matters most.”

Today is a beautiful new day. And I choose to make a good one.

So with this in mind, my happy for today is being mindful by watching the sun as it rises.

Day 22: Child’s play

Being mindful while playing with my nephews:

Today we have my two young nephews here. Ages three and six. All day long.

While I absolutely love playing with the little munchkins, I’m usually wiped out after half an hour or so and have to go and rest. So I try to make every second I spend with them count.

The eldest Callum is really into doing mazes at the moment. I’d printed a few off for him so we could sit together and have some quiet, creative time.

Of course, little Thomas wanted to get in on the action and climbed onto my lap. And while Callum got stuck into helping the dragon find his egg, Thomas scribbled on a dot-to-dot.

It was a precious half hour spent.

I always try to make sure I am fully present when I am with them. That I am Mindful Auntie Helen instead of Distracted Auntie Helen. I listen to what they have to say and I devote my whole attention to them and what they want to do.

I truly think one of the greatest gifts you can give someone is your full attention, adults and children alike. Especially when we live in a society that is very much attached to our smart phones and bombarded with distractions from every direction.

I sense that the boys appreciate it too. So much so, that later in the day Callum excitedly burst into my room to tell me what they’d just got up to in the park, and Thomas declared me his best friend when his mummy came to collect him.

Heart melt moments.

My nephews are also my inspiring teachers. They live and play wholeheartedly in the present moment.

Like when Thomas hears music, he leaps up to dance around with unabashed freedom. Or a minute after crying uncontrollably, he is playing happily, all previous upset forgotten.

And like when Callum wants me to play with him, he means now, not “in a bit”. Or when he plays his computer games, he completely disappears into that moment.

Unlike adults, children don’t dwell on the past or worry about the future, and this is one of the biggest lessons I am learning on my recovery journey.

It reminds me of one of my favourite quotes about living in the present moment:

“What day is it?”, asked Winnie the Pooh
“It’s today,” squeaked Piglet
“My favourite day,” said Pooh.
― A.A. Milne

So with this in mind, my happy for today is being mindful while playing with my nephews.

Day 20: Turtle Power

Being kind to myself by retreating into my shell:

Today I am grateful that I gave myself permission to have a few days off from writing this blog.

As much as I love writing about my ‘100 days of happy’ project, I realised I was putting too much pressure on myself to write the “perfect” posts (whatever the “perfect” post may look like!).

I was feeling incredibly overwhelmed.

And having chronic fatigue does not bode well with overwhelm.

I’m also a perfectionist.

And perfectionism is not a friend of chronic fatigue either.

So feeling overwhelmed with writing the perfect blog = crash, bang, wallop!

It was only a few weeks ago that I started easing myself back into writing, just for 20 minutes each day. But then decided to set myself this 100 day project, and write about it every day, and then turn it into a blog, and then tell all my friends what I was doing.

Yeah, I know.

I don’t do things by halves me! And it’s probably not the best idea when you need to be taking things slow and gentle.

While I really enjoyed writing it ‘off-line’, as soon as I set up the blog and put it out there, I fell to pieces. Knowing a handful of lovely people have kindly subscribed and are now getting my posts directly into their in-boxes, completely freaked me out.

Now my posts HAD to be good, I warned myself. I couldn’t post just any old crap.

I’d started writing it for me, but now I felt a responsibility to write something really fantastic and interesting every single day. Something others would enjoy reading. And keep reading.

It absolutely terrified me and I felt myself shut down.

I crumbled under the pressure.

And I know that I’m the one putting pressure on myself. No one else is doing that. I can do a perfectly good job of that all by very myself thank you very much.

When the fact is, I’ve been absolutely bowled over by all the kind lovely comments and support I’ve received so far. I really couldn’t have asked for a nicer bunch of readers.

I knew I needed to take a break from writing. I needed to gift myself with complete rest. The sky wasn’t going to fall in if I didn’t write for a few days.

I retreated back into my turtle shell, put my laptop away, and delved into my recovery tool kit. I did what I had to do to help myself recover.

I’m proud that every day, I continued to find my happy. But instead of writing about it in the blog, I wrote a short couple of lines in my gratitude journal.

As I tentatively started to emerge from my turtle shell, my thoughts slowly turned back towards my blog. I reminded myself of why I started it.

Thankfully I’ve put it all back into perspective and am feeling much better for it. For now. I realise this may crop up again, and if it does I’ll know what to do.

It’s ok that my writing isn’t perfect. It’s ok that it’s not for everyone. And it’s ok to not write for a day or so if I’m not feeling well enough.

I’m giving myself permission to be ok as I am: to be the best that I can be in this moment.

So with this in mind, my happy for today is being kind to myself by retreating into my shell.

Day 19: Time to rest

Being mindful of what my body and mind need:

My energy bucket is empty.

So today I am having complete bedrest.

I’m not panicking or worrying about this blip like I’ve often done in the past. Even though it’s a biggie this time.

I was expecting a blip of some sorts after putting so much energy into facing one of my biggest fears: writing this blog.

I’m not turning away from my condition either. Instead, I choose to turn towards it. I choose to listen to my body and honour what it needs.

I choose to accept this blip with love, patience and grace.

But it’s not easy.

And I don’t manage it every single moment.

But once I’m aware that my mind is spiralling downwards, I gently bring myself back to focusing on the now, on my breath.

I focus on the glory of the trees outside my bedroom window.

My spirits are lifted as I watch the wind rustling through these magnificent beauties, their branches swaying, bursting with life. Watching them is a soothing balm to my soul and helps bring me back to the present moment.

This blip, I gently remind myself, this too shall pass. I will feel better in time. I’m not putting pressure on myself with a timeframe. I will take as long as I need.

I have given myself permission not to write if I don’t feel well enough. I also don’t want to pretend on this blog that everything is always ok. I want to show myself that even on days like today, I can still find my happy. And I’m so grateful that I have.

So with this in mind, my happy for today is being mindful of what my body and mind need: complete rest.

Day 18: Monkey mind

Being mindful of my meditation practice:

I don’t know about you, but I have a monkey mind and it drives me crazy.

Wherever I am, whatever I’m doing, it chatters to me non-stop. Like a restless monkey jumping from branch to branch, my thoughts constantly swing from this to that, refusing to give me a moment’s peace.

I’ve been trying to tame this wayward creature for many, many years, and I’ve finally found something that is really helping.

Meditation.

The idea of meditation has always appealed to me, encouraged by countless stories of how this wonderful (and free!) tool has changed lives, and how it can help ease stress and anxiety.

I’ve tried it so many times, and have given up as my monkey mind triumphed every single time.

Until I spent a couple of months in a yoga ashram in India.

Meditation was an integral part of our daily routine. Initially I struggled and my monkey mind fought for all it’s worth. But I persisted and practiced every single day.

Then I had a lightbulb moment.

I realised it doesn’t matter if my monkey mind makes an appearance. In fact, I think you’d have to be a Buddhist Monk living in a cave for decades, NOT to have any thoughts enter your mind while meditating!

I discovered that the key is be aware of when it starts to chatter. To not get angry or frustrated or give up in defeat. To gently, kindly, and lovingly bring attention back to the breath.

Even if my monkey mind is quiet for just 30 seconds of a 10 minute meditation, I still feel the benefit.

It all counts, honest.

I wholeheartedly believe my daily practice is doing me the world of good. In general, I feel a lot calmer, more centred and grounded, and because of this, feel I am able to cope with the ups and downs of my condition a lot better.

Now that meditation has finally become part of my daily ritual, I find that if I skip my practice for a day or two I really miss it. I notice the difference in how I handle stress: i.e. not very well!

I try to vary my practice using guided meditation CDs, walking meditation, or by simply focusing on my breath.

Every Monday, I join a few friends from around the world for a virtual group meditation session. There’s something really special about connecting with others through meditation, and it always feels more powerful in some way. I have a deep sense of gratitude for this experience and treasure our Monday Meditations.

With this in mind, my happy for today is being mindful of my meditation practice.

Day 15: Bliss Balls

Being mindful in the kitchen making my raw chocolate treats:

It’s been a long time since I’ve made any raw treats. My last batch ran out a few weeks ago, and I’ve been dipping into the biscuit tin and chocolate box way too much.

Not good.

I need to replenish my treat stash quickly in order to have them on hand for when I have a sweet craving.

It’s time to say Bye Bye biscuit tin and beloved Galaxy Minstrels, and Hello Helen’s Raw Chocolate Bliss Balls.

Bliss Balls were actually my first step into the wonderful world of home-made raw treats. After realising that sugar was not my friend, I’ve been making variations of these for a few years now to satisfy my sweet tooth. And it works. And they’re delicious. And nutritious.

How fabulous is that!

My fave recipe combines mixed nuts and seeds, raw cacao, vanilla powder, cinnamon, chia seeds, super-greens powder, dates, and rice syrup, with coconut oil for binding, and desiccated coconut for rolling in.

Did I mention they are absolutely yummy?

I enjoy spreading the no-sugar love too by making them for dinner parties, and giving as gifts for friends and family. I’m often asked for the recipe which is brilliant; changing the world one bliss ball at a time!

Variety is always welcome so today I wanted to make two flavours. I decided to try out a new recipe I’ve found for Sesame Power Balls. With tahini, ground almonds, almond butter, coconut, seeds, vanilla powder and rice syrup, it sounded like a recipe made in raw food heaven. And it was.

Heavenly yummy indeed.

I wanted to practice mindfulness as I made my treats. So I focused on being present, mindful and aware, as opposed to stressed, distracted and overwhelmed.

I stayed alert to my senses: the texture and smell of my yummy ingredients; watching how they bind together in my food processor; taste testing for sweetness; and the feel of rolling the mixture into balls in the palm of my hand.

I was also mindful of my breath, keeping it slow and steady throughout. And if my mind wandered off, I gently invited it back to the task at hand.

Now I have 20 little balls of deliciousness packed away in the freezer to enjoy over the next few weeks. I usually find that one is enough to satisfy my sweet tooth, although I have been known to sneak another one or two. But they’re actually quite filling and one is usually enough. Honest.

So with this in mind, my happy for today is being mindful in the kitchen when making my raw chocolate treats.

Day 1: A happier me

Being kind to myself by committing to this project and becoming a happier me:

Eeek! My first day. And I’ve no idea what to write.

OK Helen, take a deep breath in… and out… that’s better.

Sooooo, here I am: embarking on my 100 days of happy project.

I think I want to kick off this project by being grateful that I’ve decided to do it! That I am committing to my quest to being a happier me.

Doing a project like this has been on my mind for quite a while and I’ve been inspired by the 100 days challenges that have been popping up recently.

Happiness means different things to different people. For me it’s about feeling more positive, being content with my life, being the best friend/daughter/sister/auntie I can be, improving my health, and simply, because it feels good. I say a big fat YES to all of the above! Life is too short to be unhappy.

So, after a bit of digging to look for inspiration on how to carry out this project, I came across ‘The Happiness Challenge’ workbook – (a collaboration by Action for Happiness and Headspace to support a feature on happiness by BBC Breakfast in January 2011).

It gives me a good starting point and suggests three simple actions to try in my daily life: being mindful – do less and notice more; being grateful – remember the good things, and being kind – do things for others. It also has great ideas and suggestions with questions to answer and sections to complete – making it easy to track changes you experience.

So with this in mind, my happy for today is being kind to myself by committing to this project and being a happier me.