Tag: CFS

Day 41: Healing hugs

Being mindful when giving and receiving hugs with my family:

There’s nothing like the warm comforting embrace of a long, deep hug with a loved one.

And after being home alone for the last two weeks and following an emotional few days, I really needed a big hug.

Thankfully my family were due back from their summer holidays in the sunshine. As well as looking forward to seeing them, I was also looking forward to sharing some lovely hugs with them.

This morning, I popped round for a cuppa and chat with my sis who’d returned home late last night. And of course I wanted to sneak a few hugs in: making sure I enjoyed a few snuggly ones with my three-year-old nephew Thomas, who is becoming as good as his older brother at giving the bestest hugs ever!

(I always make sure I get a nephew hug or two whenever I see them; there’s no escaping Auntie Helen’s Mega Hugs!)

Then, early this afternoon, my folks returned from their two-week holiday. As their taxi pulled up, I ran out to welcome them home, and of course, to give my mum a big welcome home hug.

I’ve really been missing my daily love-hug with my mum and followed her around the house the rest of the day, trying to grab as many hugs as I could.

It’s funny thinking back to how I used to feel a little uncomfortable and embarrassed at anything longer than a quick embrace.

And I have a dear Sydney-based friend to thank for that.

She’s a fantastic hugger. She stopped me from breaking free after a nano second and helped me overcome my hugging awkwardness! She showed me how there’s something really special about long, deep hugs. I still miss her hugs.

I totally see how there’s so much scientific evidence on their many health benefits. A meaningful hug does wonders for my wellbeing. As well as feeling loved and protected, they make me feel all warm and fuzzy inside.

And there’s also incredible benefits for giving as well as receiving. Knowing that the person I’m hugging is also receiving the bountiful benefits a hug can bring, adds to the magical experience.

As I continue to make the most of daily love-hugs with my mum, I urge you to get hugging too.

Here’s my top tips for enjoying a nourishing and heartwarming hug:

1. Pick the person you’d like to share a hug with
2. For a heart-to-heart hug, put your head to your right as you look at the other person, and place your left arm over their right arm and your right arm under their left arm
3. Hug like you mean it and be mindful not to rush it. Aim for at least 20 seconds in order to release the ‘love drug’ hormone Oxytocin, which calms the nervous system and boosts positive emotions
4. Enjoy bathing in the afterglow of your love-hug

So with this in mind, my happy for today is being mindful when giving and receiving hugs with my family.

 

Day 40: Getting crafty

Being mindful while making greeting cards:

I love making cards for friends and family.

It’s a wonderful feeling to be able to lose myself in the moment, creating handmade cards for people I love and care about.

Again, it’s sadly one of the activities I don’t feel up to doing very often because of my condition. But when I do feel up to it, I go for it and try to make enough to keep me going for a while.

I have a huge tub, full of delights to make my creations: coloured and textured card, patterned scrap paper, sparkly toppers, metallic charms, wooden shapes, stick-on gems, and so much more.

I have stencils, glue, sticky dots, coloured pens, stamps and ink galore.

And yet I still crave yet another visit to one of my favourite shops: Hobby Craft. Oh how I could spend a small fortune in there, as all the goodies displayed on the aisles tantalise my creative tastebuds.

To get into the card-making zone, I get everything out on the table and spend some time thinking about who I’m making the cards for, and working out what theme I’m going for this time.

Then I set to work, and can happily spend a couple of hours engrossed in my task.

I always feel a great sense of satisfaction and achievement once I’ve finished, and can’t wait to send the completed cards to friends and family.

So with this in mind, my happy for today is being mindful while making greeting cards.

Day 39: Splashing good fun

Being grateful for the joys of jumping in puddles:

After spending the last few days having to have complete rest due to recently overdoing it, I was going a bit stir crazy in the house and needed some fresh air.

With the Bank Holiday washout putting a dampener on most people’s holiday plans, I donned my fabulously colourful wellies on and headed out for a soul stroll.

One of the best things about walking in the rain is how Mother Nature comes alive. I love the flowers bursting with vibrant colour and the lush greens of the grass, the bushes, and the trees brought to life. I also love the wonderful earthy scent in the air, which even has its own name: petrichor. How brilliant.

But the best thing has got to be the puddles.

I rediscovered my inner child as I jumped in the puddles, giggling as I went along.

splashing good fun

It was so much fun, I felt so joyful and my spirits were instantly lifted.

What made it even funnier was that the puddles were alongside a busy road, and cars were passing me by as I jumped in and out with glee. But I didn’t care. In fact, I didn’t have a care in the world.

I returned back home with my spirits soaring, and my heart happy.

So with this in mind, my happy for today is being grateful for the joys of jumping in puddles.

Day 37: Soul nourishing nature

Being mindful during a visit to Attenborough Nature Reserve:

Today I am so happy to have visited one of my favourite localish places for nature: Attenborough Nature Reserve.

An award-winning eco-friendly visitor attraction managed by the wildlife trust, it covers 165 hectares and offers 9 miles of trails: it’s a very special place.

It feeds and nourishes my soul whenever I visit.

I’d love to be a regular visitor, but as it’s a half hour drive and over an hour to walk around the shortest trail, I haven’t felt well enough to go for a long time.

But today was the day.

Feeling truly grateful and blessed, I strolled along the Tufted Duck Nature Trail soaking up all the gorgeousness that Mother Nature has to offer.

It was such a treat to see a gathering of the webbed-feet variety, including an army of frolicking ducks, and swans gliding on the water with their growing cygnets. And it was another treat to witness the magnitude of a few hundred geese flying overhead.

The webbed feet brigade

As I wandered along the peace-filled open pathways, I breathed in the fresh air and soaked up the peekaboo playing sun from behind the dark, threatening clouds.

I marvelled at the sparkling sunshine dancing on the water, and wild heather bowing in the breeze as the wind rustled through the trees.

Experiencing a change of scenery, I meandered through the magical forest with the sporadic sunshine dappling through the trees.

magical forest

As I paused on a little jetty at the waters’ edge, a pluto-esque puppy bounded towards me to say hello. Jumping up and almost knocking me into the water, the adorable pup left a giant footprint on my skirt and another one on my heart.

Along today’s soul stroll, I couldn’t help but leave a few of my Kindness Cards with messages for people to find: a couple on benches, a couple on the gate posts, and a couple in the cafe. Here’s hoping they brought a smile to other soul strollers.

kindness messages at attenborough

I completed my visit the way I’d started: with a tea inside the Nature House, winner of the Gold award for eco-tourism. As I nosed around the shop, I managed to limit myself to an eco pen, for today anyway!

As I headed back to the car, I took a parting pause for reflection, for love, for gratitude: “Bye Bye Attenborough Nature Reserve and all your glorious beauty. I hope to see you again soon.”

So with this in mind, my happy for today is being mindful during a visit to Attenborough Nature Reserve.

Day 36: Coffee’s on me

Being kind by anonymously paying for a stranger’s coffee:

Yay! Today I got the chance to use another of my Kindness Cards. Feeling well enough to go out for a couple of hours, I walked into my local town for a coffee.

The friendly manager took my order, and I shyly asked if she’d do me a favour. I explained that I’d like to anonymously pay for a customer’s coffee and would like her to pass on one of my Kindness Cards, which on the back I’d written: You are an incredible person. Enjoy your coffee xxx

Kindness Card: Coffee's on me

What I didn’t anticipate, however, was the manager’s response: she was genuinely touched and moved to tears by the gesture.

The crazy thing is that her response made me feel a little uncomfortable.

It made me realise how much easier it is to show kindness to others than it is to accept kindness ourselves. What a learning experience.

She accepted my payment for the coffee along with the Kindness Card and promised to pass it along.

I didn’t stay long enough to see who was given the free coffee, but that was the idea really. I want to give without expectation of getting anything in return.

This is the first time of using my Kindness Cards that involved asking for someone else’s help. Not realising it at the time, it has shown the bountiful benefits of kindness: this one small act has made two, hopefully three, people happy: me, the manager, and, hopefully, the recipient of the free coffee.

So my happy for today is being kind to a stranger by anonymously paying for their coffee.

Day 34: Nahko Bear

Being grateful to see Nahko and Medicine for the People:

I’m So Thankful.

Today I got to see my fave band play as they finally made their UK debut.

Nahko and Medicine for the People describe themselves as a musical collective with a mission “to be the motivation and inspiration for all that have become members of our Tribe.”

And they’ve been motivating and inspiring me ever since I first came across Nakho and MFTP at the Bali Spirit Festival over three years ago.

They blew me away.

It was one of the best live music performances I’ve ever seen. I immediately joined their Tribe and have been loving their music and their message ever since, waiting for a chance to see them again.

And today it finally came.

The last few days I’ve been coming down with a cold which has caused a flare up of CFS symptoms. For a time, I wondered if I’d feel well enough to go. I also knew that if I did go, I would spend days and days recovering.

But I was determined. I chose to accept the consequences. And boy was it worth pushing myself for.

I was already on Cloud Nahko Bear before the show. I was wandering looking for somewhere to eat and almost bumped into Nahko and Pato. Too shy to say anything, I saw them notice the pre-show meet up of UK Tribe members with signs propped up against the pub window. Nahko happily took a photo of them, and popped inside to say hello. I love how much they care about their fans, their Tribe.

I’d phoned the venue a few days ago to ask if there was somewhere I could watch the show a little out of the way of the main hub. They very kindly obliged by putting a stool for me at the front of the balcony and letting me into the venue early to take my place.

I had the best view in the house.

It was such a friendly, love-filled atmosphere as the UK Tribe members gathered ready for the show.

Nahko and MFTP didn’t disappoint. Seeing them live is an awe-inspiring, soul-empowering, light-filled experience.

Their music style is a mix of folk, rock, with some reggae-style vibes thrown in. Their lyrics are honest, heart-felt stories and strong spiritual messages of power and healing, with some truly inspiring affirmations:

“Each day that I wake, I will praise. Each day that I wake, I give thanks.”
“We are the ones… We’re a part of something special.”
“I believe in the good things coming”.
“Balance my chemistry, hydrate these cells. The body talks and meditation helps.”
“Now is all we have.”

Nahko Bear is a musical warrior of light. Seeing Nahko and Medicine for the People really is medicine for my soul.

I felt inspired to leave a few of my Kindness Cards (see Day 3) around the venue, spreading my own messages of love and kindness.

I’m so grateful I pushed myself to go, and it is so worth the aftermath of feeling like I’ve been hit by a bus as my CFS symptoms flare up big time.

But my spirit is still soaring. And that’s what counts.

So with this in mind, my happy for today is being grateful to see Nahko and Medicine for the People.

ps if anyone’s interested in checking them out, start here and here.

Day 33: Checking in

Being grateful for my happy days so far:

I can’t quite believe I’m already one third of the way through my ‘100 days of happy’ project.

Wowser.

I can honestly say that I’m glowing with happiness and gratitude from the inside out and that feels really amazing.

I’m thrilled that I’m managing to write most days, and grateful that I’ve given myself permission not to write if I don’t feel up it.

I noticed after the first couple of weeks that I was putting myself under too much pressure to post something every day; my CFS symptoms flared up and I had to take a break.

After I’d paused for a breath or two, I knew I needed to be gentler and kinder with myself. I accepted that it’s completely ok if I miss a day or two. And if I do, I’m comforted in that I still look for my happy during those days and instead of writing this blog, I write a couple of lines in my gratitude journal.

And that’s ok.

I’ve accepted that my blog doesn’t have to be perfect. I’ve accepted that I don’t have the time to edit and re-edit, again and again.  And that sometimes my energy battery has just enough in it to write a few lines. I’ve decided I can revisit certain topics I’d like to expand on, after the 100 days.

I initially worried that what I wrote was a load of rubbish and not worthy of anyone else’s eyes. But then I realised it’s not going to be everyone’s cup of tea.

And that’s ok too.

I’ve noticed how ‘100 days of happy’ project has already had a hugely positive impact on my state of mind:

  • Being grateful helps me see there is so much to be thankful for, and helps me keep a positive mindset, even on the most difficult days.
  • Being mindful helps me stay grounded and present. It also helps to realise there is so much joy and beauty surrounding us, we only just have to take a moment and open our eyes to see it.
  • Being kind gives me such joy and a sense of purpose. It’s true what they say about the giver benefits as much as the receiver.

I love doing my anonymous acts of kindness. It’s so much fun and if I can make the recipient smile, then that’s brilliant. If the recipient then pays it forward, what more can I ask for.

What I have found more challenging is being kind to strangers face-to-face. It’s pure ‘out of my comfort zone’ stuff. As I gently, and sometimes not so gently, nudge myself to do them, I feel so happy afterwards. That’s after I’ve got over my initial embarrassment of course. But I know this will get easier the more I do.

I’m also surprised by how kindness has come back to me in terms of others’ reactions to my kindness gestures. I hadn’t considered this before, and it’s a beautiful bonus.

All in all, I’m chuffed to bits that I thought of this project and started it. And here I am, 33 days on. I’m really looking forward to see what the next 67 days of happy will bring… and beyond.

So for today, my happy is being grateful for my happy days so far.

Day 32: Homework and play

Being mindful with my nephew, Callum:

I debated whether to post today, as I have a cold and am feeling pretty yucky.

Having a compromised immune system means a flare up in my CFS symptoms whenever I catch a cold or virus. Although I can try to ward off the severity of my cold with a plethora of natural remedies, I’m also feeling incredibly drained and brain foggy today. And for that, only rest will do.

But through darkness, comes light. And my light today is six-year-old Callum.

It’s rare that I get to spend quality time with my eldest nephew. His younger brother is at our house two days a week, and Callum joins us after school on one of those days. It’s usually noisy and chaos as the brothers play and fight, and fight and play their way through those few hours.

But today it’s just Callum.

And to be able to mindful and present with just him is such a gift.

First, we tucked into his homework: telling the time. The concentration and focus on his face was just precious. But it was heart-breaking to see him get frustrated and upset when he couldn’t draw the arrow on the clock hands. I patiently encouraged him, and he seemed to cheer up.

Then it was time for fun.

We played his favourite (non-computer based!) game, Pocket Money Bingo, and it was heartwarming to see him happy and smiling again, all memories of arrow-gate forgotten. He moved onto solving a couple of mazes: I adore how much he loves doing these.

Then it was time for me to go upstairs to rest, and it was only half past nine in the morning! But I climbed into bed a happy Auntie and grateful for our precious time together.

So with this in mind, my happy for today is being mindful with my nephew Callum.